Hello Rosa, WOW,WOW, WOW. I love this creative story. We are on the same page that we love to imagine the unseen sides of the story. I always want to know how the other characters got where they are today and what they did or didn't do. You did an amazing job at creating this story of Manthara's side. I feel like she is easily forgotten. I wonder if she really had a curse on her that made her ugly and that it could have been lifter so that Rama could see that she was beautiful once he got banished? I wonder if that would changed how he looked at people . What if Rama apologized and he was never sentenced to the 14 years. This could change the whole dynamic of this story. You did really good Rosa, I can't wait to read more from you and see how you change and make the story better.
Hey Rosa! I have also opted to write a portfolio as well! I loved reading your story so much. It was interesting to see that the entire story was written in the first person. This was a cool touch. Plus, you were talking about a different perspective of Manthara. I love looking at the different sides of situations. The stories about Manthara include so much drama. So, it is always fun to read. Elizabeth, I was completely wondering the same thing! What if Rama apologized? Would that make him less of a strong willed character? I feel that leaders never back down and take the hard route. The King was also put in such a hard situation. There was no right answer to make everyone happy. Somebody was going to have to suffer. In the end, I feel that since Rama had to leave, nobody won. Manrhara just turned into a hated character.
Hello Rosa! I absolutely loved your story. When I first read Kaikeyi's story with Manthara, I really didn't like Manthara because she seemed like the instigator that made Kaikeyi crazy. I really your plot twist because it gave me a completely different view of Manthara. It actually made me feel bad for her! You had a great amount of detail in your story, so I had a pretty good picture of what was happening. What if you had written it to where Manthara spoke to Rama and confronted him for calling her names? It would give it a very dramatic feel and could possibly portray a life lesson, such as the saying "what goes around comes around." I also have a portfolio layout much like your own, and absolutely love it. It makes it quite easy to navigate and to still decorate it with pictures! For your introduction of your portfolio, it is a bit hard to read your background picture because the title is overlapping it. I would recommend moving the title to the left of the banner that way we can read both of them! I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
I would like to start out by saying I love the simplicity of your portfolio and that you changed the cover photo. I am also doing a portfolio and am contemplating changing my own cover photo for each story after seeing yours. I feel as though it makes it easier to have the photo relate to each individual story since our stories can be about a wide variety of topics. As for your story, I am thoroughly impressed! You have a great ability to tell stories and took such a creative spin on the story that I could not ever think of on my own! I really enjoyed how you wrote the story as though it was a public announcement or article of some sort straight from Manthara. This shows the reader a more raw view on all of the feelings and emotions that have been trapped inside due to everyone jumping to conclusions about the situation at hand.
Thank you so much for sharing! I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
I had watched and read Ramayana and know the whole story. I always thought that Manthara is really evil and she wanted to exile Rama for some reasons that even Kaikeyi knew. But I never thought that looking from her perspective she was just a maid who worked in the palace and gave advise to Kaikeyi of two promise that king gave her. Even now it is hard for me to think that Kaikeyi would exile Rama and that Manthara was not the one who told Kaikeyi to do that. I really like your story, it made me change the way of looking at the character of Manthara and that she was not bad person. Even though she raised Bharata, she never wanted to exile Rama. Why would she remind Kaikeyi of the two promises she still have with king, just because she was looking gloomy and sad doesn’t mean that she had to remind Kaikeyi of her two promises. Though I like this story of yours and I would be looking forward to reading your story in future.
Hey Rosa! I love the photos you've chosen for your site, but the banner for your homepage is a little unclear because the title overlaps the writing in the picture. You might experiment with different sized banners and look at the website preview to see how it really looks. The edit view is different from what we see. I like that you chose a sort of minor character and told the story from her point of view. I did something sort of similar for Mandodari. I wish that you had elaborated a bit more on why Manthara had a slight grudge against Rama. It felt like that flashback/explanation was kind of rushed. The scene where Manthara and Kaikeyi talk would be an excellent opportunity to utilize some dialogue. It would be a great way to add more detail and personality to the characters. Overall, really nice job and I look forward to seeing what else you write!
Hello Rosa! I like the look of your Blog! I think the colors are very aesthetically pleasing. However, the title of the site looks like it covers some of the writing on the photo. Maybe you could choose a picture with similar colors but no words so you can still keep the look but make it a bit less jumbled. Great story! I like how you characterize a once evil character as a good one! I think this will even make future readers consider the perspective of characters as they read other stories as well. I also like how it's narrated by Manthara herself! I think this makes the story more personal. I wonder how the story would feel if it were told in a style more designed for sympathetic. For instance, the poetic styled stories we have read have given a lot of emotion to the characters and match well with the other, more traditional, storytelling techniques. Great work on the portfolio!
I'm glad I stumbled upon your portfolio. I am also doing a portfolio! I felt like my stories thus far were strong, and I wanted the chance to edit and perfect my writing. I can't wait to see how yours evolves over the semester!
First and foremost, your introduction alone drew me into your story. I think you should continue to put little previews of each of your stories because it definitely enticed me to read more. Writing from a different perspective in first person can be difficult, but you pulled it off very well. I like that you chose to reclaim her story by writing her to have good intentions unlike the assumptions we made when we first read the Ramayana. I think to strengthen your story you could add dialogue. There were some areas where my mind tended to wander, but dialogue can bring the reader back in. It can liven up the story but also elongate areas of the plot you want to emphasize.
Overall, your story was excellent, and I cant wait to read more of your stories as the semester continues!
Hey Rosa! I love your banner photo! It is so cute!I love how you decided to tell the story in Manthara's perspective. It is refreshing to see another side. It really gives insights on the other characters about the situation. I love all your details within your story. It was very well written! Your story makes me understand Manthara's character better and what made her do what she did. It reminds me of the movie, Maleficent, the Sleeping Beauty spin-off. Throughout, Sleeping Beauty, she is viewed as the antagonist. However, in Maleficent, she is the protagonist. It adds a depth to the character. Not every story is what they may seem.
I am excited to read more of your portfolio as the semester progresses!
Hey Rosa! First, I want to say that I love the banner on the home page. The way the text from the image lines up with the title is really cool! I know that options are a bit limited with this format, but if you could find a way to get the font for the “Adventure Awaits” and apply it to the rest of the titles I think that it would look really clean. I am really liking your version of these stories so far! I like that you are giving a voice to the characters that don’t get to get their sides of the stories told. It adds a lot of depth and makes you think. Where I was once wholly writing some characters off as awful people, maybe they have a good reason for acting the ways they do. Anyways, great stories! I can’t wait to see this project when its finished!
Hi Rosa! Your site looks great! I think your idea to tell Manthara's side of the story is wonderful, and I think you are right that Kaikeyi did probably harbor those jealousies and fears before Manthara said anything. I wonder if Manthara could go into more of how she felt seeing Rama and Lakshmana in their beggar's rags to contrast it with the opulence of the coronation she described. I also love the tenderness Manthara shows towards Bharata when she retells the origin of her grudge against Rama. Maybe she could show more of that in the rest of the story to make her even more likable.
In your second story, "Amba," I like the idea of turning it into a play because as you said that episode is full of drama. I would love to see even more rage flowing out of Amba as she decides to blame Bhishma. Maybe you could have her explain more of her feelings towards Bhishma and about being abducted.
Hey Rosa! It is great to get the chance to read your blog again. It can't believe it has already been two months. Your stories have developed so much since the first time I read them. You now have two stories that have been published. I really liked reading your stories; they were really refreshing to read. At some point, the stories seem very similar to the original story. But, you have a unique take on the epics, which made it very fun and enjoyable. Having a style like a play was very interesting as well. The was cool to see for your second story. Will you post a third story? I am very interested to see more of your writings. Overall, keep up the good work! I have no suggestions on how you could improve your writings because it was clear and fun to read. Good luck with the rest of your semester!
Hi Rosa! Your portfolio looks great so far! The "adventure awaits" picture on the home screen really captures the essence of Indian Epics and shows that you plan on focusing on the many adventures told in Indian mythology. Your first story is excellently written. I always love reading stories written from a new perspective. By telling the story from Manthara's point of view, you brought a bit of humanity to the story. You made Manthara a sympathetic human while placing more blame on the queen. Your second story is also great. I love that you chose to shake up the format by writing the story as a play. One constructive comment I would make on this story is that your formatting is a little off in some places. You mix up the scene numbers a couple of times and you forgot to italicize "scene five." I would also suggest making each scene a little longer, especially scene two. All of these are very easy fixes and have nothing to do with the wonderful content. Well done overall!
Hello Rosa,
ReplyDeleteWOW,WOW, WOW. I love this creative story. We are on the same page that we love to imagine the unseen sides of the story. I always want to know how the other characters got where they are today and what they did or didn't do. You did an amazing job at creating this story of Manthara's side. I feel like she is easily forgotten. I wonder if she really had a curse on her that made her ugly and that it could have been lifter so that Rama could see that she was beautiful once he got banished? I wonder if that would changed how he looked at people . What if Rama apologized and he was never sentenced to the 14 years. This could change the whole dynamic of this story. You did really good Rosa, I can't wait to read more from you and see how you change and make the story better.
Hey Rosa! I have also opted to write a portfolio as well! I loved reading your story so much. It was interesting to see that the entire story was written in the first person. This was a cool touch. Plus, you were talking about a different perspective of Manthara. I love looking at the different sides of situations. The stories about Manthara include so much drama. So, it is always fun to read.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I was completely wondering the same thing! What if Rama apologized? Would that make him less of a strong willed character? I feel that leaders never back down and take the hard route.
The King was also put in such a hard situation. There was no right answer to make everyone happy. Somebody was going to have to suffer. In the end, I feel that since Rama had to leave, nobody won. Manrhara just turned into a hated character.
Hello Rosa! I absolutely loved your story. When I first read Kaikeyi's story with Manthara, I really didn't like Manthara because she seemed like the instigator that made Kaikeyi crazy. I really your plot twist because it gave me a completely different view of Manthara. It actually made me feel bad for her! You had a great amount of detail in your story, so I had a pretty good picture of what was happening. What if you had written it to where Manthara spoke to Rama and confronted him for calling her names? It would give it a very dramatic feel and could possibly portray a life lesson, such as the saying "what goes around comes around." I also have a portfolio layout much like your own, and absolutely love it. It makes it quite easy to navigate and to still decorate it with pictures! For your introduction of your portfolio, it is a bit hard to read your background picture because the title is overlapping it. I would recommend moving the title to the left of the banner that way we can read both of them! I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Rosa!
ReplyDeleteI would like to start out by saying I love the simplicity of your portfolio and that you changed the cover photo. I am also doing a portfolio and am contemplating changing my own cover photo for each story after seeing yours. I feel as though it makes it easier to have the photo relate to each individual story since our stories can be about a wide variety of topics.
As for your story, I am thoroughly impressed! You have a great ability to tell stories and took such a creative spin on the story that I could not ever think of on my own! I really enjoyed how you wrote the story as though it was a public announcement or article of some sort straight from Manthara. This shows the reader a more raw view on all of the feelings and emotions that have been trapped inside due to everyone jumping to conclusions about the situation at hand.
Thank you so much for sharing! I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
Hello Rosa!
ReplyDeleteI had watched and read Ramayana and know the whole story. I always thought that Manthara is really evil and she wanted to exile Rama for some reasons that even Kaikeyi knew. But I never thought that looking from her perspective she was just a maid who worked in the palace and gave advise to Kaikeyi of two promise that king gave her. Even now it is hard for me to think that Kaikeyi would exile Rama and that Manthara was not the one who told Kaikeyi to do that.
I really like your story, it made me change the way of looking at the character of Manthara and that she was not bad person. Even though she raised Bharata, she never wanted to exile Rama.
Why would she remind Kaikeyi of the two promises she still have with king, just because she was looking gloomy and sad doesn’t mean that she had to remind Kaikeyi of her two promises. Though I like this story of yours and I would be looking forward to reading your story in future.
Hey Rosa! I love the photos you've chosen for your site, but the banner for your homepage is a little unclear because the title overlaps the writing in the picture. You might experiment with different sized banners and look at the website preview to see how it really looks. The edit view is different from what we see. I like that you chose a sort of minor character and told the story from her point of view. I did something sort of similar for Mandodari. I wish that you had elaborated a bit more on why Manthara had a slight grudge against Rama. It felt like that flashback/explanation was kind of rushed. The scene where Manthara and Kaikeyi talk would be an excellent opportunity to utilize some dialogue. It would be a great way to add more detail and personality to the characters. Overall, really nice job and I look forward to seeing what else you write!
ReplyDeleteHello Rosa! I like the look of your Blog! I think the colors are very aesthetically pleasing. However, the title of the site looks like it covers some of the writing on the photo. Maybe you could choose a picture with similar colors but no words so you can still keep the look but make it a bit less jumbled.
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I like how you characterize a once evil character as a good one! I think this will even make future readers consider the perspective of characters as they read other stories as well. I also like how it's narrated by Manthara herself! I think this makes the story more personal. I wonder how the story would feel if it were told in a style more designed for sympathetic. For instance, the poetic styled stories we have read have given a lot of emotion to the characters and match well with the other, more traditional, storytelling techniques. Great work on the portfolio!
Hi Rosa!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I stumbled upon your portfolio. I am also doing a portfolio! I felt like my stories thus far were strong, and I wanted the chance to edit and perfect my writing. I can't wait to see how yours evolves over the semester!
First and foremost, your introduction alone drew me into your story. I think you should continue to put little previews of each of your stories because it definitely enticed me to read more. Writing from a different perspective in first person can be difficult, but you pulled it off very well. I like that you chose to reclaim her story by writing her to have good intentions unlike the assumptions we made when we first read the Ramayana. I think to strengthen your story you could add dialogue. There were some areas where my mind tended to wander, but dialogue can bring the reader back in. It can liven up the story but also elongate areas of the plot you want to emphasize.
Overall, your story was excellent, and I cant wait to read more of your stories as the semester continues!
Hey Rosa!
ReplyDeleteI love your banner photo! It is so cute!I love how you decided to tell the story in Manthara's perspective. It is refreshing to see another side. It really gives insights on the other characters about the situation. I love all your details within your story. It was very well written! Your story makes me understand Manthara's character better and what made her do what she did. It reminds me of the movie, Maleficent, the Sleeping Beauty spin-off. Throughout, Sleeping Beauty, she is viewed as the antagonist. However, in Maleficent, she is the protagonist. It adds a depth to the character. Not every story is what they may seem.
I am excited to read more of your portfolio as the semester progresses!
Hey Rosa! First, I want to say that I love the banner on the home page. The way the text from the image lines up with the title is really cool! I know that options are a bit limited with this format, but if you could find a way to get the font for the “Adventure Awaits” and apply it to the rest of the titles I think that it would look really clean. I am really liking your version of these stories so far! I like that you are giving a voice to the characters that don’t get to get their sides of the stories told. It adds a lot of depth and makes you think. Where I was once wholly writing some characters off as awful people, maybe they have a good reason for acting the ways they do. Anyways, great stories! I can’t wait to see this project when its finished!
ReplyDeleteHi Rosa! Your site looks great! I think your idea to tell Manthara's side of the story is wonderful, and I think you are right that Kaikeyi did probably harbor those jealousies and fears before Manthara said anything. I wonder if Manthara could go into more of how she felt seeing Rama and Lakshmana in their beggar's rags to contrast it with the opulence of the coronation she described. I also love the tenderness Manthara shows towards Bharata when she retells the origin of her grudge against Rama. Maybe she could show more of that in the rest of the story to make her even more likable.
ReplyDeleteIn your second story, "Amba," I like the idea of turning it into a play because as you said that episode is full of drama. I would love to see even more rage flowing out of Amba as she decides to blame Bhishma. Maybe you could have her explain more of her feelings towards Bhishma and about being abducted.
Thanks for two very enjoyable stories!
Hey Rosa! It is great to get the chance to read your blog again. It can't believe it has already been two months. Your stories have developed so much since the first time I read them. You now have two stories that have been published. I really liked reading your stories; they were really refreshing to read. At some point, the stories seem very similar to the original story. But, you have a unique take on the epics, which made it very fun and enjoyable. Having a style like a play was very interesting as well. The was cool to see for your second story. Will you post a third story? I am very interested to see more of your writings. Overall, keep up the good work! I have no suggestions on how you could improve your writings because it was clear and fun to read. Good luck with the rest of your semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Rosa!
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio looks great so far! The "adventure awaits" picture on the home screen really captures the essence of Indian Epics and shows that you plan on focusing on the many adventures told in Indian mythology. Your first story is excellently written. I always love reading stories written from a new perspective. By telling the story from Manthara's point of view, you brought a bit of humanity to the story. You made Manthara a sympathetic human while placing more blame on the queen. Your second story is also great. I love that you chose to shake up the format by writing the story as a play. One constructive comment I would make on this story is that your formatting is a little off in some places. You mix up the scene numbers a couple of times and you forgot to italicize "scene five." I would also suggest making each scene a little longer, especially scene two. All of these are very easy fixes and have nothing to do with the wonderful content. Well done overall!